Real Talk

Straight Talk, No Chaser (How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man) by Steve Harvey with Denene Millner


img_1895I was once in a steady relationship for about three years, but after that ended, I haven’t been in a serious one since. I have dated a couple of times over the years but honestly, I’m terrible at it. I’m constantly deleting and blocking numbers in my phone because I can’t find one that willing to settle down and I’m actually sick of dating apps. So, I took the approach in trying to understand what should I be doing when looking for a man who could potentially be my husband one day and I decided to read Steve Harvey, “Straight Talk, No Chaser”.

This book has inspired me to love myself first, keep my standards and expectations as high as I want them, be patient, and honestly look at relationships differently. The most amazing thing about this book though is that Steve Harvey don’t just give tips and information about a man but places his personal life into this book, to help his readers understand more and more about the development and ways of a man.

Steve Harvey states in his book three things that a man has to have in order to even consider a relationship with somebody or really fulfill his destiny as a man:

  1. Who he is 
  2. What he does 
  3. How much he makes 

And if he doesn’t have all three accomplish, he won’t make time to even focus on you. As Steve Harvey says many times throughout the book that every man has to first learn how to be a man before he can be anything to anyone or even love anyone back.

I’ve recently asked a question on my Instagram story, specifically for ladies, about rather they believed SELF-PRESENTATION IS IMPORTANT AT ALL TIMES when around their crushes, their homeboys, boyfriends, and/or husbands? The results were 50/50!! But the answer is YES, your presentation is everything around a man. As Steve Harvey has said, it shows a man the following three things: 1) You care about yourself, 2) You care about how you look in a man’s eyes, and 3) you’ll make a man look good. When I first read this chapter, I said to myself Steve Harvey is crazy, if a man loves me then he should love my off days too. I’ll dress up for him when needed but I love my sweats and my workout clothes. But I realized, once I got through the whole chapter, it was much deeper than just the clothes that I wear. It’s about my hair, my nails, the way my skin looks, or even how my home looks when I invite him over.

A man constantly wants to see us at least trying to look our best. So for my single ladies, if you’re trying to find your man, always stay on it. Even if you are just simply going to the store for some milk and eggs, that moment you look presentable to approach could be the moment you meet your man. For the ladies that are dating, keep yourself looking good for a good 90 days when you’re around your guy, just long enough to know if you want to pursue more. For my married ladies, you already got your man, but as Steve Harvey say, still try to look your best when your man comes home.

It is better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one than to have an opportunity and not be prepared – Steve Harvey 

If you are interested in learning more about how to find, keep, and understand a man: find this book, and get to reading! You can literally find this book in stores and online for under $10!

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