When you mention the word “date” around people, they automatically assume it’s with another person. No one ever thinks of it as you doing it with yourself. It’s not that people don’t think you can go on dates by yourself but throughout the different generation, the term “date” or “dating” has meant many things.
As of 2019, “dating yourself” is common. I’ve dated myself for years now especially when I was in my last two years of college.
But before we dive into how I personally date myself, let’s first gather some understanding…
Understanding Why Dating Yourself is So Important
Dating yourself is all about SELF-LOVE. It’s one of the biggest things that play a factor in everything about yourself. It allows so much confidence within and shows that you don’t mind loving yourself and enjoying your own company.
It allows you to understand your interest in things; to learn what you like to do, and what you don’t like to do. When you find that, it’s easier to build healthy relationships with others.
Here’s a list of 10 things of why you should date yourself:
- Allows time to yourself. Going out by yourself can be intimidating. But when you do it, you’re able to really know how to be content on your own. If people don’t want to go to the things that you like, after going a few dates with yourself..you’ll find yourself not having a problem going by yourself.
- Your love is the strongest love. You will never find anyone to love you like you love yourself. The only person that can out beat your own love is God. Your love should feel pretty romantic!
- You can order whatever you want. It’s will be your own personal money, and you can order whatever you want off the menu. If you want to order a soft drink, something other than a cheap meal, or some popcorn and a drink at the movies…you can do that too!! You get to eat in peace probably without sharing and savor every bite (lol)…I’m just saying!
- It’ll become okay to talk to yourself. So clearly, don’t talk to yourself aloud in a public place..you don’t want no one to think you’re crazy lol. But communicate with your thoughts at the di Yonner table, or in your car (which becomes okay for you to talk to yourself, just make sure nobody is not watching). You will learn that not every conversation is not meant for sharing or to have with two people. You don’t have to worry about other people opinions.
- No split the check ordeal and no need to compromise. Both just sounds incredible right? You don’t have to worry about going out with someone else trying to figure out who paying or if y’all splitting it. That always sucks! And you don’t have to worry about arguing about where y’all going for the date…it’ll already be settled because it will be just you.
- Never know what can happen. The best nights are always not knowing where you going to end up for the night or what you can get into. You don’t have any set plans but you want to be adventurous so you do something you always wanted to do.
- A good book. Now, this is my type of date night. I love reading a good book. It always feels great getting lost in a goooooood book that you just can’t put down until you finish it. Silence your phone and dig in!
- Being able to ask yourself questions. Sometimes we find ourselves avoiding the heavy big questions at hand about our lives; but, when you are by yourself, it allows you to ask them and answer them too.
- Explore what’s around you. You are able to people-watch in your car or even a coffee shop. You are able to truly observe your surroundings.
- Dress up and love yourself enough to treat yourself. It’s nice to take a nice hot bath or shower, dress in your best, put on some makeup, shave, etc. and take yourself on a romantic date. It may look weird to others, but it feels good to you! Being comfortable in your own skin is what it’s all about.
Why I Date Myself and What I Do for a Date with Myself
It took some time to understand that just because I was single, should not make me feel like I need to date myself. It had to be something that made me feel good about myself, and love who I am as a person. But yes, I am single; and since I am, dating myself helps me understands what I like, and don’t like, and how I expect a guy to treat me on a date. I’ve set my standards high on my own and that’s fine, it just shows I love myself!
Some dates I’ve taken by myself:
- The movies. It was something that was becoming a regular weekend routine and I was enjoying all the snacks that I wanted with no fuss! It was feeling great.
- The park. Ahhhh nature!!! It’s relaxing, calming, and lets me enter my thoughts with no problem. I may even find myself back in my car, with the windows cracked, sleep after all of that lol, and don’t judge me.
- Car sits. A common thing for me especially for those that know me. I will sit in my car for hours and do many things. I will pray, listen to music, unwind after a long day at work, sing, and talk to myself. It comes in handy all the time because I’m allowing myself that alone time that I need daily.
- Out to eat. Ohhh, I love doing this! I ultimately enjoy the stares that I get when I’m eating alone but guess what? I’m fine with eating alone. When I’m eating with others, I’m either uncomfortable or not getting everything I want.
- Reading a good book in a quiet environment. The best date for me, hands down!!! I can read a good book anywhere and all day if you let me. I get so zoned out that I forget about the outside world around me.
- Working out. Y’all may not consider this a date BUT listen, it’s a date. I’m loving myself enough to care about my body and how it looks. My workouts are intense too, because I will literally be fussing at myself about not being more motivated, not putting my all into it, and I get lost talking to God.
So, I’m still working on some more self-dates, and I’ve been on plenty others but I’ll share that another time.
Overall, love yourself harder than you will love anybody else! Your self and self-love are way more important than trying to please others or even live up to society standards.